Verbal or physical bullying
Bullying comes in two forms. The first is verbal bullying, such as name-calling, teasing, gossip-mongering and hurling insults, all aimed at making the student socially embarrassed. The second is physical bullying, such as beatings, kicking, or other acts that cause physical injuries or pain.

Play or violence?
Children are playful by nature. Some of them seek fun by ridiculing their classmates, with no intention of causing any harm. They hurt others unintentionally because they may not know the limits. Some give each other nicknames, or engage in physical exchanges that eventually get out of control and cause hurt. In primary schools, most students may not be aware that they have hurt their friend.

Self-protection
Some children do not know how to express their hurt after having suffered mental or physical abuse; some suffer in silence because they do not want to lose their friend and do not know how to protect themselves. As time passes, the hurt grows. Some children who are bullied in school do not tell their teachers, or are unable to communicate well enough with their parents to voice their hurt. Keeping everything to themselves could lead to more emotional hurt.

School protection and safety
Children's safety is of utmost concern to schools, and we do our best to protect every child in school. Every school follows a stringent set of rules to maintain discipline and protect its students. Teachers in primary schools also play a part in keeping the student safe. While teachers may not be able to keep a constant eye on each and every student at every moment, there is almost always a teacher with the student while he is in school. The school also has other support mechanisms in place, such as the school counsellor who helps guide and counsel students.

During sports and other physical activities, pupils may not realise that they have unintentionally hurt their friends.

Parents' role in a child's growth

A child's physical and emotional well-being is very important. When a child returns home from school, it is crucial that parents communicate with, understand and counsel them. Besides showing concern for the child's studies, parents should be more attentive towards his school life and find out if he gets along well with his classmates. Only in a healthy and happy learning environment can a child grow healthily and learn effectively.

As a parent, you can help your child in the following ways:

(1) Establish a good relationship with your child. Create the right setting and guide your child from young to voluntarily share with his parents about what goes on in school. When this becomes a habit, you as parents will be able to understand more about your child's life in school. It is very important to spend time talking with your child each day, and no matter how busy work is, make time for him. During these interactions, avoid talking about school work and do not give your child pressure; let him enjoy interacting and sharing the little things in life with you.

(2) Teach your child mutual respect. Any words or actions that cause others to feel uncomfortable should be stopped immediately. If someone causes your child to feel uncomfortable, he should be taught to express his stand and tell the other party clearly: "What you said or did makes me very uncomfortable. I don't like it. Please stop immediately." The child must learn to respect others, and others must respect him. If he cannot stop the undesirable acts of the other party, let him know that the teachers in school or parents are his best support.

(3) In the event your child is troubled, talk to him patiently and elicit responses from him to get the whole picture. If necessary, inform his school teachers. Do not jump to conclusions based on one side of the story, reprimand the child, rebuke the other party, or storm into school demanding justice to be served. In any conflict among children, it is highly possible that both parties are responsible.

(4) We try but we may not always be able to protect our child from everything. Handle any incidents that may occur with care and your child will learn from the experience. Experiences in life are precious lessons for a child, providing opportunities for him to grow.

Bullying someone smaller in size, bullying a smaller group, and using words or actions to hurt others are all undesirable behaviour that will not be tolerated by the school. In primary school, most conflicts between students happen when they are playful, ignorant, or when both parties are unaware of the situation. Let the child learn to protect his own rights - do not be over-protective of him. What the child needs is our care and guidance. From each incident, we also hope our children learn how to relate with people effectively.

Contributed by:
Mr Ngoh Choon Ho
Principal, Hong Wen School

学校"暴力"事件？

Parents can encourage their children to be open and communicative about their problems or difficulties.

孩子闷闷不乐，不愿意去学校；或是哭哭啼啼回家，诉说被同学欺负;也常有家长到学校来告状，绘声绘影地诉说孩子如何在学校受欺负。到底学校"暴力"事件是怎么一回事？家长应如何帮助孩子面对这类问题？

语言或肢体"暴力"
学校暴力可分两种，一是语言上的，如给同学取外号、拿同学开玩笑、造谣、辱骂等，让同学感到难堪。另一种是肢体上的，如打、踢或做一些动作，让同学的肢体受伤或感到难受。

好玩？暴力？
好玩是小孩子的天性，有些孩子为了好玩而爱作弄同学，其实他并不是有心伤害他的朋友，只是不懂得分寸，无意中伤害了别人。有的同学互相给对方取外号，或是你动我一下，我给你一拳，结果失去了控制，给对方造成了伤害。在小学里，大多数的情况是：这个学生本身，并没有意识到，他已伤害了他的朋友。

自我保护
有些小朋友，在精神或肢体受到伤害，不知道如何表达；有的因为不想失去朋友，就逆来顺受，不知如何保护自己。日子久了，伤害越来越大。有些孩子，在学校遇到事情，在校不敢向老师投诉，在家无法与家长很好地沟通，或是不敢告诉家长学校里发生的事情，把一切藏在心底，最终造成严重性的伤害。

学校的保护与安全
其实，学校绝对重视孩子们的安全，并极力保护每位孩子在校内的安全。每一所学校都有严格的校规来维持学校的纪律与照顾学生的安全。小学里的老师，也扮演着保姆的角色，虽然无法每分每秒地盯着每一位学生，几乎孩子在校的每一段时间，都有老师在旁照顾。学校也有其他的援助例如学校辅导员来帮助与辅导学生。

With parents' and teachers' support, children can develop with confidence and stability.

孩子的成长与家长的角色

孩子的身心健康是非常重要的。孩子放学回家，家长是否能与他们沟通、了解、辅导是关键。家长除了关心孩子的学业成绩，更应该关心孩子在学校内的生活，了解孩子与同学们相处是否愉快？只有在一个健康愉快的学习环境里，孩子才能健康地成长，学习才能得到最佳的效果。

家长可以从下列几点协助孩子：

(1)　与孩子建立良好的关系，营造气氛，诱导孩子从小愿意与家长分享学校内所发生的一切，成为一个习惯，好让家长从中去了解孩子在学校的生活。每天与孩子的沟通时间是很重要的，即使工作多忙，每天拨出一点时间给孩子。沟通时，避免只谈功课，不要给孩子压力，要让孩子乐意与你交流，享受与你在一起分享生活上的点点滴滴。

(2)　教导孩子人与人相处必须互相尊重。有任何语言或肢体上让别人感到不舒服，就应该马上停止。孩子本身，如果别人在语言或肢体上令他感觉不舒服，教导他应该马上向对方表态，明确地告诉对方："你所说的这些话、举动令我感到不舒服，我不喜欢，请你马上停止。"孩子要懂得尊重别人，也要别人尊重自己，这是基本要求。如果他本身的能力无法阻止对方的无理行为，让他明白学校的老师或家长是他们最佳的支柱。

(3)　万一发现孩子有什么心事，耐心地与孩子沟通，从旁推敲，了解真相，有需要的话，向学校老师反映。千万不要听一面之词，马上作出结论，责骂孩子，或向对方兴师问罪，或气冲冲地到学校要求讨回公道。有很大的可能性，孩子们之间发生的事情，不是单一方造成的。

(4)　我们无法永远给孩子铺上一层保护网，整个社会也绝不是一个"无菌"的世界。孩子经一事，只要我们处理得好，他就能长一智。生活上的遭遇，都是孩子的宝贵一课，都是孩子成长的机会。

有意地以大欺小，以众欺寡，故意用语言或动作伤害对方是绝对要不得的行为，学校绝对不允许这类事件的发生。在小学里，绝大多数的学生纠纷事件，是孩子们的好玩、无知，或者双方在不知觉的情况下造成的。让孩子学习照顾自己本身的权利，也不要过度呵护孩子。我们不愿意看到学校有暴力事件发生，孩子们需要的是我们的关怀与引导。

我们更希望孩子从每个事件中学习到待人处事之道。